i love how things just happen as they should.
today has probably been the best birthday ever! i feel the best i have in my life, probably. ahhhh i am so thankful for everything i have.
it was so wonderful to spend time with my parents tonight. and to get to talk to mariya! and CLAIRE! oh my god claire. i had no idea what to say to her. but i love her and we have a really strong connection somehow.
and now kalli! it's so fun talking to her. she is INCREDIBLE. SERIOUSLY. i am so in awe of her. her life is so crazy but probably awesome. it would be neat to be a genius at everything.. she is so down to earth and personable too. yaay happy she exists!!
i have just been smiling so much today. i probably looked like a goon with mariya heh. and aw michelle's balloons made my day. i love having her as a friend!!
i am celebrating my life, every day. as in, LIFE itself. i feel so deeply connected to life each day. i feel awake. i am not in the 'darkness'
i should probably finish explicating this poem though, so i can sleep! and be somewhat coherent for peer group and stuff tomorrow ah... i should drink caffeine!
i want to be busy again. i dont know why i've been somewhat activity-less. it's lame! yeah.
THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOREVER
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Sunday, February 1, 2009
ahhhhmigos!
ahhh! i love amigos! this weekend has been such a fun time, no exaggeration! i love those people.
i felt really productive right when i returned home, but now i feel sleepy..
i genuinely love what i have experienced of this program thus far. unlike kairos where i always felt a bit out of place due to the religious theme.. (i feel bad for not discussing it with kate though, who loves kairos).
i had so much fun, even if i felt a bit lukewarm and out of place at the start. i haven't really been involved in a completely unfamiliar group of people in a while, and it's really interesting. i see a lot more of these people as friends now than i did prior to this trip.
i'm so glad abbie seeked me out initially. i thought she wasn't interested in being my friend (note to self: STOP THINKING THINGS LIKE THAT!!) so i was happy when she wanted to room together, sleep together (HA!) and stay up really late talking. she is so sweet, adorable, cool and interesting. yay.
it would take a while to explain everything, so i'm just going to let a stream of consciousness emerge:
stupid me, didn't finish scholarship, rushed and anxious, not that excited, short bus, almost late, justin, sleepy, justin talking too much about college, feeling left out of conversation, sleeping, awake, no healthy food, annoyed, cities, arrive, end room with abbie and revan, sleep in same bed, giggle,
i don't remember chronology from then, so will just list stuff:
chagas, nicole, nicole smokes, ripped jeans, nose ring, laughter, 'into the fire', fears and expectations, grace's 2 shirts, talking to eric on bus, 'i am an artist but i am not pretentious,' late night hide and go seek, household health and sanitation, veine el capitan, horrible spanish accents ahahah, eric is amazingly mature, phoebe reminds me of mel hebeisen, trust walk longer and more grueling than usual, magnificent ending at beautiful sand dunes/beach, dangerous walking on river (ah!), mr. katie and katie sledding, sex camp kids, 'i am afraid of christians', 'ditching' the breakfast table and feeling upset and scared they wouldn't like me, carol is a ninja at hiding, jeremy a hilarious clown and exhibitionist, eric (just learned name!) is hilarious and reminds me of ryan, jesus for children, passover surprise, should have used my camera to take pictures of all this!!, what i will miss most, feeling more and less afraid, bruce is really sweet, standing in her doorway after she talked about friend who committed suicide, lots of vegetarians, ben is openly gay and awesome, a mathlete, a blackbelt, wants to study public health, kate is a swimmer, maybe more fun than i thought, and likes dipping croutons in pink lemonade, cody seems shallow (but isn't, but just in our games), guessing ahogar, our rap of rules of conduct, raven's CRAZY MAD skills and doorag, WINNING THE NIGHT with 28 amigos points that mean nothing, ben seducing a banana last year, getting scabes, wearing my purple pants and argyle socks, no contacts, greasy knotty hair, hallway that smelled like poop, no one showered, jeremy's balls and hiding spots, ellis is more affectionate to me now, jane is a crazy jungle woman who loves zebra print and now calls me her Biffl, eric and my discussion of significant others, eric is an intellectual and his symbol for 'ocean iris', ayn rand, mcdonalds, tree song, maps, abbie falling out of window, apparently nicole has bitchy and bossy tendencies (so why do i like her so much?), grace hates catholicism and crowds and loves diet coke, affirmation circle, excitement, smiling muscles hurting, warmth, love, hugs, fitting in.
i felt really productive right when i returned home, but now i feel sleepy..
i genuinely love what i have experienced of this program thus far. unlike kairos where i always felt a bit out of place due to the religious theme.. (i feel bad for not discussing it with kate though, who loves kairos).
i had so much fun, even if i felt a bit lukewarm and out of place at the start. i haven't really been involved in a completely unfamiliar group of people in a while, and it's really interesting. i see a lot more of these people as friends now than i did prior to this trip.
i'm so glad abbie seeked me out initially. i thought she wasn't interested in being my friend (note to self: STOP THINKING THINGS LIKE THAT!!) so i was happy when she wanted to room together, sleep together (HA!) and stay up really late talking. she is so sweet, adorable, cool and interesting. yay.
it would take a while to explain everything, so i'm just going to let a stream of consciousness emerge:
stupid me, didn't finish scholarship, rushed and anxious, not that excited, short bus, almost late, justin, sleepy, justin talking too much about college, feeling left out of conversation, sleeping, awake, no healthy food, annoyed, cities, arrive, end room with abbie and revan, sleep in same bed, giggle,
i don't remember chronology from then, so will just list stuff:
chagas, nicole, nicole smokes, ripped jeans, nose ring, laughter, 'into the fire', fears and expectations, grace's 2 shirts, talking to eric on bus, 'i am an artist but i am not pretentious,' late night hide and go seek, household health and sanitation, veine el capitan, horrible spanish accents ahahah, eric is amazingly mature, phoebe reminds me of mel hebeisen, trust walk longer and more grueling than usual, magnificent ending at beautiful sand dunes/beach, dangerous walking on river (ah!), mr. katie and katie sledding, sex camp kids, 'i am afraid of christians', 'ditching' the breakfast table and feeling upset and scared they wouldn't like me, carol is a ninja at hiding, jeremy a hilarious clown and exhibitionist, eric (just learned name!) is hilarious and reminds me of ryan, jesus for children, passover surprise, should have used my camera to take pictures of all this!!, what i will miss most, feeling more and less afraid, bruce is really sweet, standing in her doorway after she talked about friend who committed suicide, lots of vegetarians, ben is openly gay and awesome, a mathlete, a blackbelt, wants to study public health, kate is a swimmer, maybe more fun than i thought, and likes dipping croutons in pink lemonade, cody seems shallow (but isn't, but just in our games), guessing ahogar, our rap of rules of conduct, raven's CRAZY MAD skills and doorag, WINNING THE NIGHT with 28 amigos points that mean nothing, ben seducing a banana last year, getting scabes, wearing my purple pants and argyle socks, no contacts, greasy knotty hair, hallway that smelled like poop, no one showered, jeremy's balls and hiding spots, ellis is more affectionate to me now, jane is a crazy jungle woman who loves zebra print and now calls me her Biffl, eric and my discussion of significant others, eric is an intellectual and his symbol for 'ocean iris', ayn rand, mcdonalds, tree song, maps, abbie falling out of window, apparently nicole has bitchy and bossy tendencies (so why do i like her so much?), grace hates catholicism and crowds and loves diet coke, affirmation circle, excitement, smiling muscles hurting, warmth, love, hugs, fitting in.
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