why is it that i talked about exactly what i should have AVOIDED with orrin?... my boyfriend and love life. jeez. that's strange to talk about with anyone i don't know well. gaaaahh

"yeah, i kindof have a man crush.."
"ahah it's cool you admit that. i have totally had a crush on him too. i have really had a crush on everyone at some point. even during long-term relationships."
"oh.. how did those go?"
"well i'm in one right now, it's weird because it's also long-distance. ha ha."


Aghhhhhhhhh

"yeah, i kindof have a man crush.."
"hahah that's cool. i have woman crushes too. or just crushes on everyone."
then just CUT IT SHORT there and talk about theatre and hmmm is he doing crew?
because i am kind of feeling like i want to hang out with orrin more. ahhhhhhhhh weird feelings i have a slight crush maybe because he is really sincere and his voice makes me want to listen and he active reads well and has a man-crush on paul. and his dad is a cool artist. don't know much else about him, do i..
"are you going to a club meeing? i feel like you're the type that would join clubs"
and his eyes.. they just had this really warm inviting look. melty. honey-like consistency. i felt drawn in.
i liked his jacket it was interesting.
i like him.
whenever we say hi to one another it is really sweet and i feel like we are in an old play or something. i cannot quite explain that. his sense of humor is really good and i feel very energetic around him.
we both don't sleep. or are nocturnal
i want to be around him more. but okay i will not date him i just needed to get this out of my system
am i really this flighty?
i wish i didn't tell him about ben guhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
it was really cool that we could just talk so comfortably and openly with one another so easily today. i think it's because of how i met him
i keep seeing him places and in pictures and everytime my stomach jerks funnily! ahhhh